Tripping on the Scales

Finally got to visit Parker!

we were allowed in today to see Parker but our camera managed to take some horrible pics but here you go anyhoo.

posted by Deb @ 9:08 PM Comments: 0

Diet or just eating healthy? Still debating this.

so I said that I would get to this, well I am as the boys are out in the garage playing poker and I am syncing my mp3 files on my cell phone so I have some files to play on it. If I have a toy you know I am going to play with it.

So what did we do?

I lost poundage just by watching what I eat. I have reduced the amount I eat which has helped and I know that if I could get my ass to the Y I probably could dump the last 15 pounds I am willing to loose. My Mom freaked out however saying" I can see you neck bones, gross! No more!"

It's not that bad, I am not dying people.

Lloyd has been good about going to the gym. He gets up and goes before he heads to work, now this body can't handle that as I need my rest otherwise I am more of a bear than usual. I figure that if I got up I would have to be at the Y before it opened anyhoo to be home in time to get my daily primping done.

Now don't think of me as highly maintained, it's not that at all. I am a damn putz in the morning. I can't help it that I don't want to get moving before 8:00. So going to work early to flex has nearly killed me.

I like the idea of getting done with work at 11:30 one week, that's nice, but that half hour really screws me up. I am slowly getting used to it but I seem to always forget something when I have to be there that early.

Back to the diet. We have done one good thing: NO FRIGGIN' CHIPS. We don't have any in the house unless we are planning on having company and they eat them. It has made a HUGE difference. I would rather eat carrots now (which for awhile I was sporting orange fingers...no kidding.) and other veggies while I make supper or after. We have been eating more cereal and protein as well but the other big factor is watching the amount of total fat in things we do eat.

I have a rule, if it between3 and 5 total grams of fat it's okay as long at the calories are low. If those two factors are not there, you ain't stuffin it sweetheart. So far my theory works and I am not hungry, but thirsty.

That is the other thing, I have had to curb my drinking some. I still do, but it's much smaller amounts, so no more of this:

which is okay I guess. I needed to get off the sauce a bit. Not that I don't miss a good martini every once in a while. Lately I have been turning back to them but in less quantity. Of course I am still a stickler for quality, so I have a fifth of Oranj Stoli if anyone wants to have a mango. I must say I was pretty happy with them and if you are like me - withdrawn - a bit of club soda gives it a bit of fizz and tames down the mighty Russian that is living in the bottom of the shaker.

I have been considering one tonight just to bear some of the crap I took in the last ten minutes of work today which turned into me staying till 5:30. I think I scared Sheila when I stormed out of my office speaking words of hate and distain.

I will just say this: If you are pissy, don't pick up the phone to talk to a stranger. All you are doing is opening pandora's box.

After that, I wanted to make sure the boys were covered for tonight so I ran to Sam's to get them some treats.

Smokies, veggies, pin wheel dainty sandwich thingies, baked chips, some of those addictive munchies and some dip. Since most of them don't care what they eat they should be set. Lloyd will go kill himself out of guilt tomorrow for eating any of it and drinking beer.

Me: I will likely be mowing grass. I do this a lot. It was fun at first but now it's getting to be that time of the year where I feel like I should just do it daily. Right now it's puffy in spots and always makes me thing that people think we let Mollie and Torrie pee in the front yard. We don't, it just gets puffy.

Okay I am tired, I am still thinking about that stoli and I have to get the checkbooks caught up. I am guessing a few of you would like some updated pics of Lloyd and I, and I am working on it. Now that the girls are all sexy butted up, it's time for me to make the arrangements for the sitting to be after my beautification on the 14th.

Oh hey, for a good laugh...hee!

Click on that and see who is there!

posted by Deb @ 9:04 PM Comments: 0

Friday is alright for longing to get out of work!

Okay it's like 1:30 and I am in no mood to work. I am eating skittles and having daydreams that keep getting interrupted by Kemmet coming in here and giving me hell or returning it, and telling me how badly she doesn't want to be here as well.

This is not sponsoring workplace morale. This is like a Budweiser commercial.

So I attempted to get a peek at my nephew at noon because Lloyd and I even had arranged to get in and the nasty bitches at the nurses station denied us. I was not completely thrilled as I am a relative not some stray dog that walked off the street but I guess I get what I get but still.

Still going off in the elevator Lloyd finally had enough and told me to knock it off. Sorry bout that Papa.

2:49 pm

sorry, I actually worked for awhile and now I am calling people back. I am trying to figure out how people can find enough brain matter to woo the other sex into the sack for a poke and romp and then are so illiterate they can't seem to spudder out their own name. I have had more people with pickles in their mouths call me this week than I care to count.

well back at it...happy happy joy joy.

posted by Deb @ 1:39 PM Comments: 0

PARKER RILEY IS HERE!

At 7:00 pm central daylight time Parker Riley Barnick was born.

6 pounds 9 ounces (about the same size as his daddy was when he was born)
19 1/2 inches long
blond eyebrows that make him look like daddy and momma's button nose.

Even tho the DNA may not have any of daddy in there, he's going to be a Barnick no doubt.

Grandpa was called at 8:30pm and he freaked out. It was a really surreal experience.

will babble about it later as I need to share the info with the rest of my family...

Whoo! All hail Spidey! (as daddy likes to call him)

posted by Deb @ 8:58 PM Comments: 0

Can this day get any longer?

Today by far had to be the longest day of the year...or at least I thought it was. Never ending. I can't even begin to describe it therefore I won't to save your soul.

So, lets talk babies. I haven't heard from Lance yet so I have no idea what my auntie status is and I hate to bother him if he is bonding with Parker. I will have plenty of time to talk about him later.

So - Lloyd and I and adoption. So far so good.

We finally got the ten tons of paperwork completed and also coughed up the $3k hairball that they want from you before they will really look at you as a serious party.

With that we started right away with a series of meetings to answer some of those unknown questions and to give a feel to our social worker on how good of parents/mentors/babysitters we would be. We think we rock but we need to have an unbiased option to say yea or nay to us to get us the goods.

Now we are looking for a child up to the age of five in North Dakota. This broadens things a lot but also can be a bit of a concern. A five year old. Stubborn five year old. I am a stubborn four year old so I can imagine somewhat what we are getting into but as I think about it - it's important to me to have a little person in my life thus suck it up and take some lumps woman.

Lloyd is so happy about it he is about ready to pop. Eager beaver he is. He also decided that the Big Brothers/Big Sisters program would be a good fit for him so he is doing that as well. He has a little brother named Carson, he's nine. Full of energy. Makes me tired just looking at him but the sweetest nine year old I have ever seen. He LOVES to give me hell, and with him and Lloyd double teaming me I have to thicken my hide a bit but its all in good fun.

Carson came over a few weeks ago and when Lloyd picked him up he asked, "I hope that Deb isn't sweating like a pig."

Well guess what? I was. I was mowing the damn lawn again. It never fails this kid sees me out in my yard doing something but let me tell you, my yard currently doesn't boast that well. I need to trim and get my garden propped up. I have a few raisin laying fur balls running around my neighborhood that are eating my stuff. I let the girls out to go chase the little bastards but they seem to come back and crap in our yard. Their toxic little turds burn our grass so I have been a bit pissed off at the fuzzy bunnies so I have really let Mollie and Torrie run. I am not sure short of shooting them and making hossenfeffer out of their carcasses will deter them from my acres of flora.

But Carson has been interesting. Lloyd and I are learning how hard it is to control a nine year old and still be cool. We don't' want him to hate us but we don't want to replace his mom either so there is a delicate balance of ying and yang going on. Time will tell if we are going to live past his 10th birthday or if he will pistol whip us while we take him home one of these evenings.

And on top of all the ten tons of crazy that we have going on - our basement flooded with all the lovely rain that the farmers have been just ***dying*** for. Well now that you can't get in your field, how about you bring your ass into town from the farm and paint my basement. Then when you are done you can lay carpet and move all the furniture which is piled in closets back to where it belongs. The 42 inch tv in the bedroom will likely be a toss up so you can leave that. No, you can't put it in your truck and take it back to the ranch, let the son of a bitch sit where it's at.

So we picked out carpet which I think will be nice. It's different than what we had but that is okay as we are going to need to update everything as we go in the next few years anyway. Heck, we have replaced all the flush valves on our toilets (this is important unless you like to bend over after you do your business and turn the water on so you can flush) and actually got a new potty after we broke Lloyd's tank on his. That ring around the base of the toilet is actually meant to be a cushion and does not go flat...you break the bottom of the the tank if you keep on a crankin'. Oops. But now he has a handicapped toilet (no shit, literally!) as it is about three to four inches higher off the floor. I swear my feet don't hit the floor if I use it so I don't. I don't like strange toilets. I get the stage fright on them.

Back on point: We will be painting the office a warm buff, it's not white, it's a deep putty color, a tan if you will. The Bathroom may get the same paint as it is in need of something, it looks so empty and cold.

The game room will stay red, I need to touch up the walls but that is the extent of it - thank god. I am looking forward to getting the basement back together as everything is crammed in closets and in our upstairs. It functions but you forget what it is like to loose space like that. I am so proud we are not pack rats otherwise we would be strangling each other in the bathtub.

with that I will stop for today. Tomorrow...diet central. The Suhrs finally learned out to eat foods that aren't fried, greased, or buttered.

posted by Deb @ 7:41 PM Comments: 0

damn thing

okay, it was 7:30 but this blog thinks its so damn smart.

getting screwed again. my god. I don't have time for this.

just go with the flow peeps and pretend.

truly, it's all in my imagination anyway.

tomorrow, more fun - adoption style for those that need an update.

:)

posted by Deb @ 9:30 PM Comments: 4

Newbie

oh lord, I am doing this because I figured I needed to start keeping track of myself as well as allowing others to actually keep track of me!

This is a beta thing for me because I am horrible about actually maintaining anything other than Lloyd, Mollie, Torrie and keeping the refrigerator full.

We'll see how this goes.

You will be bored to tears by the time I finish this sentence.

Basically this will be a blog about my daily insanity and also to keep those that are at a dangerous distance in the loop because - honestly - I suck and you already know it. Otherwise you wouldn't send me welfare emails to make sure I am alive or that I haven't forgotten about you.

So, today - I guess I can start.

I got out of bed. Hey, this is an accomplishment that merits praise. WHY? Because I had two pina coladas last night and they conked me on the noggin before I even got to bed. That is truly shameful. One of these days I will learn not to drink stuff that has a 'Mr. Yuck' sticker on it. Still after all those low budget commercials and toxic threats, I am still not taking it seriously.

I'm awake and moving. Wonderful, bring on my day full of cranky AR's and AP's.

Intermission for lingo:

AR - Custodial Parent - to whom I came up with a new word for today: Angry Beaver. (Based upon sex mind you, if you called a guy an angry beaver he may wonder if you are questioning his sexuality, and hey - if he has a kid, I think you pretty much missed the bullseye on that one.)

AP - Absent Parent - also known as obligor, asshole, non custodial parent, sperm donor, lazy son of a bitch, cheater, liar; among other things that I am sure I shouldn't have forgotten after three years of this crap.

hurry up, grab your rasinettes and catch up will ya.

So off to work I go. At least I didn't trip in the street or snag myself in the elevator today.

So I am at my desk in my daily coma called a routine, emailing back and forth with Barb in the Fargo office about all things that have to do with work for a change - which is odd, usually that only happens in the first draft. I was low on coffee and lower in my chair. If there wasn't fear of electricution I believe I may have left a drool puddle around the base of my chair from lack of ambition to close my mouth.

So I drag myself to the coffee pot as it casts is lovely morning glow. Could have drank it out of a swirly straw if the crap wasn't boiling but nevertheless I hooked up my IV and went to town.

Now of course it's summer which means everyone has to go on vacation. Well, nearly everyone. Us losers that get stuck behind have to pick up the yard art that everyone else leaves behind even tho there may be an ordinance that states "pick up after your pet".

Therefore a team of eight becomes a scrum of four and one is not feeling well. This doesn't bode well on the effect the day will have as it prances on.

Managing to squish an elephant into a tuna can, I fumbled my way thru the morning rather unscathed. How refreshing for Hump Day. May I do it again? Well certainly! We have a whole nother four hours of freaks for you!

The afternoon was tolerable till I mentioned the fact that I felt "caught up". There is a unspoken rule: you do not mention this to ANYONE. THEY WILL BETRAY YOU.

The wrath of Khan came about 1:35 pm. Her name is Spring but she's not made of dew and isn't soft like a petals on a daisy. More like a female truck driver enjoying a can of skoal.

So after five minutes (a record) of attempting to settle this side show down, I get to hear how we are taking all her Social Security. Woman, you are younger than I am and just because you felt the need to send in a bomb threat to St. A's then throw your old man out of the moving car on the 405 in LA doesn't make me feel too awfully bad for you. Just listen to me, say yes, and hang up the phone. Don't call back for at least six months.

So after leaving a message for Mr. Liar and dealing with Spousal Support Man, I was about ready to jump out my three story window for a nice day of sunbathing on the awning on the Provident Building but alas, the windows are double paned.

I managed to make it out almost unscathed till the Administrator brought me a slop bucket of fun because apparently I am either blind or illertate. I messed up on reading an order as apparently "per child" looks an awful lot like "per family". Oops. Just another way to rub a bit of salt in my ripped flesh from earlier in the afternoon.

So I will deal with that bullsnot tomorrow. Stay tuned to your weather radio. NOAA is predicting hail.

Finally incarceration is complete for the day and I hop in the RAV and toot my way home. Rona is at the mail box (my stunning neighbor and also a co-worker from the State Child Support Office) and I think I should stop and chat with her for a few minutes...but there is something that I forgot...what the hell is it?

MOLLIE & TORRIE AT THE DAMN GROOMER.

I set this up on Monday, remembered at lunch that Lloyd and I had to come home and get them. Told Lloyd I would pick them up and now it is 5:20 and I am sitting in my damn driveway attempting to figure out how I am going to get to Pet Place in like zero minutes.

So I took the beaten path. Calgary Avenue that is more like a BMX track.

Of course this also is a red flag for every slow bastard in Bismarck to be heading to the south side at a crawl.

There were word that have no meaning in english but meant something somewhere, maybe in a different solar system because they had to hear me. Jesus himself was annoyed.

So after traveling at a top speed of 22 mph I fall into Pet Place and the ladies are drinking beer as they are waiting for me. If I had any balls and a cast iron stomach I would have asked to have one for the road, but instead I paid my $56 to beautify my sexy butts and clicked my pointy heels home.

On the way I reminded myself that I negelected my brother yet again thus called him upon my arrival home. I am going to be an Auntie tomorrow so I needed to know how everything was going and also take care of my own selfish needs, snatch info on Lance's timeshare in Orlando.

Me? Shallow? And Cheap? HELL YES.

So I found out that I was almost an Auntie today so that made me have a surreal moment. I am going to be an Aunt. Not a mother, an Aunt. Okay, so what is my role Jaboroni? Can I feed this child bullcrap and sugar and get away with it? Poor Parker isn't even here yet and I am planning his demise. Welcome to the Barnick's my sweet child. We haven't seen children in so long we forgot what they taste like.

So really now, how do I feel? Good. I am happy for Lance and Veronica. I am happy for my parents, as maybe now we don't have to sucker them to come to Bismarck and Dad doesn't have to strap a spa tub on top of his beloved suburban. He should thank those kids come to think of it.

As soon as Parker Riley is born I will try to scab the pic from MedCenter and get it up for you to see. Yes, I know, another baby. Stop rolling your eyes. It may be puffy and pink and may not be cute at first but smile and like it and lie to all of us. Humoring can get you things, another lesson for the day you should recite before you brush your teeth tonight.

So now I sit and wait for Lloyd to get beautified and then I am going to stuff a steak down his gullet. Hopefully it will be better than the one I just ate as it was like eating the shoe I was wearing all day. That is disappointing because I like those shoes!

So there you have it...June 27, 2007 from some ungodly hour till 7:29pm. Hope you enjoyed it as much as I did.

hee.

posted by Deb @ 6:49 PM Comments: 0